Jake:   if i didn’t initially checked you out.. if i didn’t say hi.. if i didn’t tried to talk to you.. didn’t call out your hair..
ignored your email.. didn’t accept your lync invite.. didn’t tell you i like you.. how i find you attractive.. how the things you do.. the person you are.. makes me feel a certain way..
you would not be feeling this guilty
i really have to put the blame on myself
Lani:   No it’s not your fault
Jake:   good thing i never kissed you..
i don’t want to confuse you.. i’m really sorry Lani..
i need to stop being so selfish.
Lani:   You make me happy but I know deep down that I will not be able to walk away
Jake:   i don’t want you to walk away..
Lani:   And I also know.. ..it’s selfish of myself to take you away
I am going crazy
Jake:   you’re not going crazy
Lani:   I am really
To think that I can be happy without hurting anyone else is stupid thinking
I think the right thing to do is stop the hugs, calls and text outside of work
At least until we both figure out what’s best
Jake:   okay. Lani.
Lani:   Life sucks you know
Jake:   not if you know what you want
i know what i want
Lani:   I know what I want but I can’t
Jake:   okay.
and life does not suck
this is life
Lani:   Yes it does
Jake:   it’s supposed to challenge you
if life was mundane it wouldn’t be worth living
you have made me feel something i have never felt.. life is awesome..
Lani:   Why do I feel like it’s been a challenge for so long?
Jake:   for you it’s a nonstop challenge because you haven’t done anything different
you can’t expect it to stop.. the same long challenge to stop if you’re not making changes to stop it
i know you hate it that i can just accept what you say.. that i’m not fighting to persuade you.. but i want what you think is best for you.. even if i disagree
the best things in life are never easy
Lani:   I know
Jake:   the day or moment you tell me no more jake.. i will respect that.
i will return to my normal self
doing my normal things
walk my normal walk
laugh my normal laugh 😬
i will always have the memory of you returning my phone in kroger’s parking lot
and my first real hug
Lani:   Did you get my last 2 messages
My Lync seems not to be working
Jake:   mines too
it’s all hosed
Lani:   I think it’s you then
Jake:   i guess it knew
Lani:   Really Jake
Jake:   hahaha
i’m sorry
i can’t help it
i see things.. differently
Lani:   Even when I feel like crap you can always put a smile on this face